The Heart of Forgiveness

 Forgiveness. A lot of people think they know what this is. But the truth of the matter is, forgiveness can be twisted into a very selfish thing. It has long been argued that forgiveness is a choice we all make in our lives to help ‘us’ move on. But are we truly forgiving the other person? Or are we saying that we forgive the other person so that we feel complacent.

Photography By: Jessica Shaffer

            True forgiveness is a process. It’s not just a phrase that we coin to someone when they have done us wrong. “I forgive you,” is a very complex statement – and in doing so we need to understand the significance it can have in our lives. Jesus Christ’s crucifixion on the cross is the epitome of forgiveness. Ephesians 1:7 says, “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace.” The meticulous process that Jesus Christ planned to show us and prove we are truly forgiven began with a virgin birth, a dedication in life, and a spotless sacrifice on the cross. His actions screamed love, and his motives were clear – “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

            Forgiveness is also not a choice. Whether the conviction be there or not, Christ said, Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” This quote is a revelation. Tried and true in the statement, do unto other’s as you would want done unto you. Forgiveness is a requirement. Though the heart may take time to heal, we have to choose to lay our burdens at the feet of Jesus.

Photography By: Jessica Shaffer

            Letting someone who hurt you take hold of your life is like leaving an open wound to fester. We have to make the conscious decision to truly be Christ-like and decide and live like we have moved on from the indiscretion. First pray about the situation that has hurt your or caused a quarrel. Secondly, fast – do as Christ did in letting his flesh die. Let the Holy Spirit touch your lips to express the words that should come out of your mouth when the situation needs to be resolved. Thirdly, love and move on. Once these steps have progressed, let go.

            Nothing about the process of forgiveness is easy, but they are essential in showing the world that we can be the light. Let us be an example of Christ’s love – a true Heart of Forgiveness.

Micah 7:18-19

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.  You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.

Do I Belong?

Have you ever wondered where you fit in—in the church, in your community, in your family?

Almost everyone questions, at some point in their life, how and whether they belong. Some people possess obvious talents and strong confidence in how to best use them. But for most of us, finding our place and identifying how God wants us to serve is a humbling and difficult process.

To everyone doubting their value to the church, the apostle Paul has an encouraging message: you have value; you’ve been called to serve by God Himself; and you’ve been given exactly the grace you need to do it.

Ephesians 4:1-24

Photography By: Jessica Shaffer

I, therefore, the prisoner for the Lord, urge you to live worthily of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you too were called to the one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of the gift of Christ. Therefore it says, “When he ascended on high he captured captives; he gave gifts to men.” Now what is the meaning of “he ascended,” except that he also descended to the lower regions, namely, the earth? He, the very one who descended, is also the one who ascended above all the heavens, in order to fill all things. It was he who gave some as apostles, some as prophets, some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, that is, to build up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God—a mature person, attaining to the measure of Christ’s full stature. So we are no longer to be children, tossed back and forth by waves and carried about by every wind of teaching by the trickery of people who craftily carry out their deceitful schemes. But practicing the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Christ, who is the head. From him the whole body grows, fitted and held together through every supporting ligament. As each one does its part, the body grows in love. — Ephesians 4:1-24 (NET)

Questions to Consider

• Do you feel a specific “calling” to a particular job, ministry, community, or activity? How did you become aware of this calling?
• Even if you don’t identify a specific role for yourself, look back at the last few years in your church or community. Can you discern ways in which you’ve served, even if you didn’t realize it at the time?
• Have you ever felt that you were being called to serve in a way that didn’t take advantage of your natural talents and abilities? How did you understand or resolve this tension?
• Is there anyone in your church or community who seems to feel out of place or disconnected? What can you do to make them feel like they’re an important part of God’s family?

Unity and Humility

Photography By: Jessica Shaffer

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!Psalm 133:1

Do you realize how closely unity and humility are tied together? One breeds the other; neither can exist without the other. They're like Siamese twins, perpetually connected.

Personally, I have seen numerous occasions when pride won out (even though it was never called that) and harmony faded away . . . and I mean fast. . . .

Contrary to the stuff you might read today, the words, fight and quarrel, are not apt descriptions of the way to get ahead. They won't ultimately glorify God.

Friends are made by not fighting and by refusing to quarrel.

Commit yourself to freeing others so they can grow and discover on their own. For a change, as much as is possible, walk away from an argument rather than inviting one. Become more of a peacemaker.

Speaking from the Heart

           This is going to be tough to write. But I feel like this is something I have shared with a handful of people in my life. And if you really know me, you are aware of the struggles I have been through to conceive a child with my husband. This is me pouring out a very intimate struggle, and in doing so, I’m asking each and every person who reads this to join me every single day for the next thirty days to lift me and Gary in prayer…

 There is no greater pain in the world than to want something that seems so simple, yet so unattainable.  This urge has become numbing. It has given me a roller-coaster of emotions that never seem to cease. After 6 years of attempting to get pregnant, I'm beginning to get weary. There were a couple times, that Gary and I both saw two lines. We were elated, but just as quickly as we learned we “were…” we suddenly weren’t. To say that losing a part of you is painful is an understatement.  As contrived as it sounds, there are no words to express the sheer magnitude of grief you encounter.

The desire to have a child is biblical. Psalm 127:3 states, “Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.” The Hebrews regarded children as a blessing from the Lord (see Gen. 13:16; Ruth 4:13-16; 1 Sam. 1:11). They are a reward and heritage, bringing joy to their parents. Rearing a child is a sacred responsibility, and parents must depend on the Lord to help them guide their children. I realize that the desire to have a baby is far greater than simply giving birth to a part of your own flesh and blood. It’s the most delicate and innate desire for a woman to have. Simply put, it’s the best gift you could ever have from Jesus.

I painfully read the scriptures of Sarah and her barren womb, along with the stories of Leah, Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah, and Elizabeth. All these women were afflicted with the deep-rooted desire to birth a child of their own. Their struggles were very real, and also very excruciating.  I’m not going to let others tell me that I’m different than these women, because frankly we all share something very much in common. Our allegiance, dedication, and motivation are the same. We love and praise God, and this intricate yearning is a seed that has been planted in us from the moment we were also knitted in our own mother’s womb. 

            My aching is very genuine. Sometimes it hovers over me like a shadow, other times it seems like a distant dream – but all the same it has become an overwhelming desire that is bursting at the seams. I do not write this for you to feel sorry for me, instead for you to understand me, and to join me in this very raw journey. There are very many other women who understand what I am going through right now. They understand the depression that can creep up without warning; they understand the sleepless nights of wonder and prayer. They probably also understand the very private moments, when you are alone and sob until your cheeks sting. They know and understand how difficult it can be when your body can’t and won’t cooperate to create life. But I’m taking a stand, and I’m saying loud and with all the faith I can muster, and I quote these verses:

All Things Are Possible

LUKE 1:37 NKJ
37 "For with God nothing will be impossible."

MARK 9:23 NKJ
23 Jesus said to him, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes."

MATTHEW 17:20 NKJ
20 . . . if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, `Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.

MARK 11:24 NKJ
24 "Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.

I am making a very strong request. And I am begging to those who take this seriously, to make a very strong commitment with me to pray and fast for the next thirty days. I need strong believers in Christ, to help me break bonds. To help me break any chain that is holding this blessing from Gary and I. I am begging for a community of believers like us, to join us and shout to the heavens, “God nothing is impossible.” This journey begins July 23,2012 – join us, and lets prove that miracles still happen everyday. 

Dry Bones

Romans 14 and the Christian’s Conscience

Photography By: Jessica Shaffer

Murder… adultery… theft… you won’t find any Christian who thinks those are God-honoring activities. Between Old Testament law, New Testament guidelines for Christian living, and the many righteous examples set by believers throughout the Bible, Christians generally know how they should (and shouldn’t) behave.

But what happens when we don’t know?

Christians have devoted huge amounts of time, energy, and prayer to figuring out what to do with the “gray areas”—behavior that isn’t explicitly addressed in Scripture and over which earnest, devoted Christians disagree. In the past, these “gray areas” have included dancing, rock music, alcohol consumption, movie-viewing, hair styles, and tattoos. The specific issues change with each new generation, but Christians continue to struggle with the question of what to do when different believers’ consciences lead them to different conclusions about a controversial activity.

Fortunately, Scripture gives us tools with which to tackle this challenge, most notably in Paul’s letter to the Roman church.

Romans 14

Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. For instance, one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them. Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord’s help, they will stand and receive his approval.

In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. You should each be fully convinced that whichever day you choose is acceptable. Those who worship the Lord on a special day do it to honor him. Those who eat any kind of food do so to honor the Lord, since they give thanks to God before eating. And those who refuse to eat certain foods also want to please the Lord and give thanks to God. For we don’t live for ourselves or die for ourselves. If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Christ died and rose again for this very purpose—to be Lord both of the living and of the dead.

So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. For the Scriptures say,

“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bend to me,
and every tongue will confess and give praise to God.’”

Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.

I know and am convinced on the authority of the Lord Jesus that no food, in and of itself, is wrong to eat. But if someone believes it is wrong, then for that person it is wrong. And if another believer is distressed by what you eat, you are not acting in love if you eat it. Don’t let your eating ruin someone for whom Christ died. Then you will not be criticized for doing something you believe is good. For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. If you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God, and others will approve of you, too. So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.

Don’t tear apart the work of God over what you eat. Remember, all foods are acceptable, but it is wrong to eat something if it makes another person stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble. You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right. But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning. — Romans 14 (NLT)

Questions to Consider

1. The main “matter of conscience” described in this passage is related to diet. What are some modern-day “gray areas” that you’ve encountered in your personal life and in the life of your church?
2. What does it mean to be “weak in faith?” How does a weak believer grow stronger in faith, and how would that affect their attitude toward these “matters of conscience?”
3. How do we distinguish between issues about which Christians can safely “agree to disagree,” and behaviors or beliefs that are genuinely sinful?
4. The final part of this passage notes that an activity that’s not sinful for another Christian can be sinful for you if your conscience speaks against it. What’s an example of such an activity in your personal life?
5. Why do you think Christians (both ancient and modern) are so prone to arguing and debating the “gray areas?” What about Paul’s advice in this chapter makes it a challenge for us to put into practice?

We Are Citizens of Heaven

Photography By: Jessica Shaffer

Chances are that if you live in the USA, you’re probably on your way to the nearest lake or a family member or friend’s house for a classic Fourth of July cookout. Grilled burgers and sandy beaches await! In the evening follow fireworks, while families and friends shoot bottle rockets and light sparklers from the driveway.

Photography By: Jessica Shaffer

American Christians can be proud of their national history, and the hand they’ve played in shaping the United States over the years. It isn’t that either America or the Christians who live there are perfect. But Americans can be proud of the religious freedom that’s integral to their national identity, and American Christians can be grateful to God for the opportunity to worship Him without fear of persecution—a freedom that countless believers past and present have not enjoyed.

Christians approach patriotism differently. Yes, we can be proud to be Americans, just as any person of any nationality can be proud of their national heritage. But as Christians, we know that our true kingdom is not here on earth. We’re citizens of a heavenly kingdom. Philippians 3 says:

Photography By: Jessica Shaffer

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

The national borders we know so well are only temporary. This earth will pass, and the kingdom to which we are called by God will replace it. We can celebrate the cultures and histories that shape us while looking ahead to a better world to come.

Whoever you are, American or otherwise, you have a plenty of reasons to be thankful today. Lets take this time to celebrate, relax, and enjoy!

Beautiful Things

A sweet reminder of who and what God is. He makes all things BEAUTIFUL...

Divine Discipline

Photography By: Jessica Shaffer

If God loves us, why is life sometimes so hard? It’s a simple question, but one that has challenged Christians since the earliest days of the church. Why would a God who wants the best for us allow us to undergo suffering and pain?

Hebrews 12 doesn’t answer every question you might have about suffering and the “problem of evil,” but it offers some important insight. As is often the case in Scripture, we’re challenged us re-think our assumptions—in this case, the assumption that there’s no purpose behind our suffering:

Hebrews 12:1-13

We are surrounded by a great cloud of people whose lives tell us what faith means. So let us run the race that is before us and never give up. We should remove from our lives anything that would get in the way and the sin that so easily holds us back. Let us look only to Jesus, the One who began our faith and who makes it perfect. Think about Jesus’ example. He held on while wicked people were doing evil things to him. So do not get tired and stop trying. You are struggling against sin, but your struggles have not yet caused you to be killed. You have forgotten the encouraging words that call you his children:

“My child, don’t think the Lord’s discipline is worth nothing,
and don’t stop trying when he corrects you.
The Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as his child.” — Proverbs 3:11–12

Photography By: Jessica Shaffer

So hold on through your sufferings, because they are like a father’s discipline. God is treating you as children. All children are disciplined by their fathers. If you are never disciplined (and every child must be disciplined), you are not true children. We have all had fathers here on earth who disciplined us, and we respected them. So it is even more important that we accept discipline from the Father of our spirits so we will have life. Our fathers on earth disciplined us for a short time in the way they thought was best. But God disciplines us to help us, so we can become holy as he is. We do not enjoy being disciplined. It is painful at the time, but later, after we have learned from it, we have peace, because we start living in the right way.

You have become weak, so make yourselves strong again. Keep on the right path, so the weak will not stumble but rather be strengthened. — Hebrews 12:1-13 (NCV)

Questions to Consider

1. Does perceiving suffering as discipline, rather than oppression, make a practical difference in the way you relate to it? How so?
2. When you experience this “divine discipline,” do you think it’s appropriate to pray for relief from it? Why or why not?
3. Looking back at a specific point of suffering in your life, can you see how it’s strengthened you? Are you grateful for the experience of discipline, or resentful?

Growing Up Southern

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Photography By: Jessica Shaffer

It’s safe to say, I never envisioned my life going the way it has. At age 20 I married my best friend, by 22 we had set up our nest egg, and by 24 my husband and I were living our “dream life.” Granted we haven’t had the blessing of children yet, but I have no complaints.

Fast forward, 26 years of age – and now living somewhere I never thought I would call home. If you know me, I always envisioned getting my degree in Broadcast Journalism, getting a great internship at a local news station, and finalizing my dreams in sunny California giving my opinion in the style segment of Good Morning San Francisco. But, life has a funny way of saying, “This is your new life, run with it.”

Photography By: Jessica Shaffer

Living in Raleigh, North Carolina has turned out to be a very sweet and unexpected treat. The southern charm and hospitality has been unchained. Everywhere I go I am eagerly surprised to find a new and promising future. Specifically where Gary and I have made home - North Hills has proven to be the perfect place to start navigating the rest of our lives. Other than the obvious convenience of living in a town center apartment, I have found that this has been the perfect platform for me to realize what I want to see in the next ten years.

The move from the Washington D.C. suburbs to Raleigh has made me realize the one intricate detail about who Gary and I are. We care and desire quality time with each other.  Needless to say, quality time is hard to come by when you are traveling an hour or more to and from work. When you do the math, you spend nearly two hours a day in traffic, five times a week multiplied by four weeks of the month, and 12 months of the year… a grand total of 480 hours a year sitting in your car waiting to get home. And let’s not forget the days that there is an accident, or maybe a holiday is around the corner and everyone decided to leave his or her house at the same time. It adds up quickly.

Photography By: Jessica Shaffer

These days Gary travels a total of thirty minutes a day round-trip to and from work. He gets home relatively early at about 4:20, and we have the opportunity to share how our days have gone, dinner is hot and ready on the table by 6, and if we feel adventurous we try a new restaurant out. There are bike trails, running paths, lakes, and outdoor activities at every corner. We’ve already taken late night strolls in downtown Raleigh and found many cute corner restaurants’, shops, and boutiques. Everything is lending itself to a better and happier lifestyle.

Photography By: Jessica Shaffer

So, you may be wondering what all this is about. I’ve come to the conclusion that life is whatever you make of it. Gary and I were really never the kind of people that enjoyed making hundreds of thousands of dollars to only enjoy minimal moments of time with each other. For us, making a move to a slower paced community was a given. I have to say, for the first time in a very long time…I’m really happy to see, and feel what it is like to venture out and call somewhere else home. I figure this is only the beginning for Gary and I. There’s so much more for us to experience and live for. But I’m just happy to know now, that I’m enjoying every minute of “Growing up Southern.”